I am getting tired of having to explain why I travel solo.
I don’t understand what’s the big deal about female travelling solo.
I don’t understand people’s fear of travelling alone or in general just doing stuff alone.
At times, I like fear.
Every now & then, I like to challenge myself & put myself in uncomfortable situations.
To me, life is about difficulties & all the emotions it brings (even the bad ones like fear, sadness, loneliness etc) and how you overcome it eventually.
And, if I have been through the worst, then the rest of my life would be a breeze.
I am bad with directions.
I live a pretty sheltered life especially in a country like Singapore.
I am a fussy person (can’t do this, don’t like that etc).
I do not like talking to strangers.
I am not good at planning or organizing stuff.
I am lazy & like to stay home all the time.
I do not like to ask or seek help from people.
To challenge myself, I travel alone.
When you are all alone & in a foreign land.
You do not have choices. Your senses sharpened. Your awareness raised.
You need help & you have to ask and talk to people.
You do not have your usual resources, you make do with what you have.
You face strange, sudden or surprising events, survival instincts kick in & you learn to deal with it.
& if you make mistakes, you learn from them.
Once you conquer the initial fear & apprehension, you realize that you can do this all on your own! After an experience like that, you grow stronger. More independent.
Suddenly, you experience the power of absolute freedom.
Before you know it, you are addicted to travelling solo.
I can have total control over my itinerary:
– Where I want to stay (no need to share the bathroom or TV)
– Which restaurant or cafe I want to eat at.
– What activities or attractions I want to spend more time on.
I don’t need to be afraid of making bad decisions, getting lost, wasting other’s time or taking the longer route. All decisions are mine & mine alone and I just won’t blame myself or beat myself up about it. I adapt, I learn to live with whatever consequences and there’s a life lesson learnt. Responsibility and resilience.
It’s a very empowering experience.
Nowadays, I have grown to prefer travelling solo more than in a group.
Recent conversation with an ex-colleague, it went something like this…
Mr P: So where did you go on your latest trip?
Mr P: Alone?
Mr P: Find Bali Boys ah?
Mr P: Sleep alone? Not scared of ghosts???
Me: Errr… What’s the worst thing that a ghost can do to you? Kill you? Then you turn into ghost too??? Doesn’t seem rational right?
Mr P: Hahahaha… True. Doesn’t seem rational!
Another conversation with a colleague…
Me: I just booked a trip to _________!
Ms Y: Alone again?
Ms Y: Why don’t you find someone to go with you?
Me: Huh? Errr… Like who? Everybody is like “they are planning another trip” or “why don’t we go somewhere else?” or “why don’t we ask so & so to come along too?” etc…
It’s too much trouble. & I don’t like to accommodate or compromise or delay or change plans because people will never ever get around to doing it.
For me, I want to be able to go anywhere I want on a whim, not having to wait around for things to get going…
Another favorite question from the general public:
The general public: Isn’t it dangerous to be travelling alone?
Me: Errr… I see it as no less dangerous to be crossing the roads or eating fishballs. People get knocked down by cars all the time. & I had a neighbor who died cause he choked on a fishball. If we are afraid all the time then what is the point of being alive? I rather die doing something I want to do and doing something that makes me happy then to die regretting and thinking about the things that I could have done.
& Here’s a few interesting & inspiring reads from fellow solo female travelers: